Today, the last remaining piece of the 'dream puzzle' got taken away from me. I didn't lose it, it wasn't my responsibility. It has been taken away from me. Since being a child, there were a number of parts of the puzzle to my family dream. The ease of conceiving, the super fertility between my … Continue reading No baby by 30; letting go of the dream →

Sarah, Rachel, Rebekah, Hannah, Elizabeth; who are these women and what do they have in common? These are all women from the bible who were barren. They struggled and suffered with the weight of infertility. Later on, God did give them all children. Sons, in fact! Psalm 113:9 says, 'He gives the childless woman a … Continue reading Faith and Infertility →

Today I am really struggling. I want to cry, scream, sleep, eat, hide, run away. Everything. I've really struggled all day. And do you know what has triggered it? Not much. Just a parent of a pupil making an off comment. Making me feel like they could do my job better. And I have completely … Continue reading The ramblings on another bad day. →

These lyrics from a song called 'More' by Halsey are just everything right now. https://youtu.be/MLw3JCQSkCU I'm not even going to say anything. Just listen and take in the words. If you are struggling with infertility, you'll get it, it will probably break you and you will probably cry. If you are blessed enough to have … Continue reading “And when you decide it’s your time to arrive, I’ve loved you for all of my life…” →

I say 'so far' because I am not naive enough to believe we are done yet. I know that relatively speaking, we are probably not very far into our journey yet. We have got many more mountains and hurdles to overcome, and, a universe full of pain and heartache still heading our way. The outlook … Continue reading What infertility has taught me so far… →

I'm a teacher, so as of tomorrow, Coronavirus will be changing my life for the next however long. Schools will be closed. Sort of. And right now I have no idea what is going to happen. Just another uncontrollable situation in my life. Exactly what I needed. And I've been keeping track of the effects … Continue reading Coronavirus; another reason to wait →

The other night I had a really vivid dream. You know the type that is so vivid you actually think it's real for a few minutes when you wake up. Well, I woke up thinking I was pregnant and had taken 3 different pregnancy tests (A clearblue one which says the weeks pregnant you are, … Continue reading I had a dream the other night… →